If someone hurt you, your child or a family member with words or their actions we feel upset and a part of us want to react. It could be a sarcastic comment made by a coworker. One been gossiping behind your back. You know the truth stands miles apart from what they said about you and that makes you feel angry and hurt.
Or sometimes is maybe not a person but a situation or something you got or didn’t get. It keep ruminating on your mind.
Forget about it we tell ourselves. When we try to move on that face is frozen there. That thing is in front of you. After days weeks and at times even longer. It’s stuck. Our monkey minds keep replaying these quarrels, or resentments nonstop and it affects us filling our lives with stress. Experts say an unhappy mind is an unhealthy mind. It produces stress and depression and other physical health issues too.
How can I get off. How can I move on, it is simply doing my head in..
Here are some simple ideas to help you get through your bad experience.
1. Least said, soonest mended.
If your mind keep replaying the same clip, only thing you can do is say less and less about it. Let time pass and get between you and that person. It will fade away at some point.
2. Wait and see what’s next.
When someone caused us pain we feel the hurt and the urge to react to this toxic situation or to this negative person. Psychologists suggest, allow yourself time to await instead and see what happens next.
3. Face the big problem first.
It’s not the negative situation or this dificult person what is causing so much distress in our lives. The biggest problem might be your anger. So deal with that first…
4. The rolling effects.
Once that story occurred then we keep asking so many questions to ourselves. Why has this happened? If I did not say that, maybe if things could have gone another way, and this wouldn’t have happened. This happened because that happened. Ok, remove yourself from the blame game.
5. Calm your mind.
Unjust makes people angry. Anger creates a cloud in your mind that prevent us from thinking clearly. Only a clear mind can do that.
Use meditation, walks in nature, and other exercises to calm your mind.
6. Trying to read people’s mind is waste of time.
When this situation happens and people involved are not saying much, it leaves us wondering. Then you try to assume what are they thinking. It’s tiring. Most likely they are not thinking what your mind suggest. The process is a waste of time.
7. Don’t treat your thoughts as facts.
We experience emotions like fear, worry, anger, sadness through a difficult time. But thoughts are not facts. Simply, not all what you think is true. Don’t treat them like facts.
8. Use it as growing experience.
Psychologists suggest that when we shut down in anger, take offence from something said or done, make judgements for what we did or didn’t do we add more suffer to our suffering.
Instead analyse the situation. Think what you may learn from it. Use it as growth opportunity.
9. Magic wont work.
Yesterday happened. Gone. Going back there wont change a single thing. It’s like forcing to change what happened years ago. Waste of time. Magic wont work.
10. Take little time out.
When we are trying to get someone out of our head, it feels like a storm of emotions keep on hitting you. Take a little break. Let these feelings get in your mind and fall down just like waves do on the seashore.
Or replace the negative thoughts with loving and kind thinking. It works for me.
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