Anger is another emotion of human beings which pass on your body a simple message: this person or situation is so upsetting. It’s not either bad or good. It’s an emotion. Uncontrolled though can have consequences in your life and people around you. More to the point it affects the quality of your life.
But anger can be controlled and expressed in constructive and healthy ways without hurting other people.
1. Recognize the signs of anger.
When you feel angry your body responds with physical signs:
- Your body feel tense.
- Your heartbeat start racing.
- Your face flush.
- Dizzyness and shakes.
2. Walk away from the scene.
This is to calm yourself down. Count to ten slowly. Take some deep breaths. In and out. Drink some water. Walk for five minutes in fresh air. Think about the situation. You don’t have to react right now.
3. Talk to yourself and friends.
Sometimes people yell at you. It could be for a reason, but you can’t see that reason. You think there is a better way to talk to people. What happen to respect and manners? Just think everything through.
You also can talk to a close friend about the feelings of anger. A good friend helps deal with the problem.
4. Notice the triggers of anger.
If you feel angry regularly notice what is causing the anger. Are there certain people,or certain situation that making you angry. Like one cuts you off in traffic when you driving. Or you feel let down and disappointed from a co-worker. People talking behind your back.
5. The impact of anger.
Anger going uncontrolled can ruin your life but also can have a great affect in people around you, in your work place and in your private relationships.
6. What is behind your anger?
Anger quite often is a reflection of your past. If when you were a child people around you expressed anger by shouting at each other, hitting each other, you might picked it up from then. Other times anger covers the feelings of shame, hurt, insecurity and emarrassment.
Behind anger can be:
- You find it hard to compromise with others.
- You view yourself as strong and tough.
- You take opinions of other people deeply personal.
7. Expressing your anger in a healthy way.
Anger is an emotion that should be expressed. You can express it in three ways.
- Passive way. This is when you speak to other people about the issue or talk behind this persons back.
- Agressive way. When you yell and scream and can even hit the other person on the heat of moment. This can have concequences for you and other people involved. Violence is never a good idea of expressing anger.
- Assertive way.
This is the only constuctive and healthy expression of anger. Assertiveness takes in consideration both parties. You still can express your anger but without insulting or accusing the other person. You might use the “I” statements. That means you focus on yourself rather than other persons short comings.
8. Be repectful.
When you comfort the person that make you angry, try and be specific. Why you feel the way you feel. Remember though to still be repectful.
9. Concentrate on problem solving.
Expressing anger should have a clear point: problem solving. When you confront people who make you angry, express your anger and request (not demand) the issue to be solved. You ask them to sit down and talk so the problem gets a solution.
10. Otherwise ask for professional help.
If none of the mentioned steps can help cope or express anger seek professional help as soon as possible.
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