In a relationship discovering your partner has been cheating is a devastating news. It hits you hard unexpectedly. That great feeling of love turn’s into feelings of betrayal, anger, sadness and rejection. If it happen to you, you’re not alone. According to researches a quarter to half of all people in relationship have cheated at some point in their relationships.
But knowing this fact, doesn’t make it any easier for you to deal with a cheater. It’s a shocking a news that really hard to take.
1. Take a deep breath and some time.
Take some deep breaths. Take your time to process this news. Tough times, I get it.
2. You’re not alone.
Near half of married people have been cheating at some point in their relationships. You’re not alone.
3. Talk to your best friend.
Talk to someone, be a family member or a close friend. It just feels you share the hurt. The pain shared is pain lessened.
4. It’s not your fault.
Most people who been cheated on seem to blame themselves for what happened. The truth is that is not the case. That is not your fault. The truth is whenever things get tough or when a relationship get rocky both partners have a choice. So instead of sneaking around and going having sex with someone else they can say: hold on, I can’t put up with this anymore. Sorry. Then they can go and do whatever they like.
Don’t blame yourself if your partner cheats on you. If it happen, you have to take the pain, but not the blame.
5. Time to face your partner.
First make sure that is the truth. Then face your partner. Let it all out.
Never mind, “it just happened”.
Why did it happen?
Sometimes one of the partners can be a sex addict. Not saying that a valid excuse. Not at all.
Or you might get “sorry I was drunk”. “Sorry it just happened”
Whatever the excuses it’s hard to deal with it. Tell your partner you’ll need some times to think about it.
6. Will you be able to forgive and most important, can you look at your partner in the same way again.
The truth is some people don’t see cheating as a big deal. These people don’t mind hurting you at all. If you dealing with one of those people tell them to get away from you. Let them go and do, what they do best.
But if you are in a relationship that might is worth saving it, think long and hard. Can you fully forgive your partner? Can you trust them? Can you look at them same way as you did before?
This is a hard point but it also widely depends on each individual. Take time before you make a decision.
7. Don’t celebrate.
Whatever you decide, don’t celebrate. There are no winners, I am afraid. If you decide to finish it make it a clear break. Don’t spread rumours though. No need for gossip.
If you decide to split up with your partner but between you’re kids, make clear arrangements about them. Remember you both love these little cuties, so don’t let it affect them. It’s not fair to put them in middle of your arguments.
If you have decided to forgive your partner, that’s good, but remember one thing: Don’t jump to the words, “you are a cheater” in first argument you have. You have to put that behind you.
8. Look at your own personal actions.
At last but not least, take a look at your personal actions lately. When it comes out your partner been playing away, what about you? If you been doing the same, come clear and admit it.
9. No revenge
Just because one of you start a sex relationship don’t mean you should do the same. No revenge. It only makes things worse.
Take time to heal your wounds.
Photo credit PIXABAY