Someone paid me a compliment about my new job I was going to start. I felt good about myself. Then a inner voice asked me a question: who is going to start that new job? You? Ha ha ha, and that voice laughs in my face.
I was thinking and asking myself whos voice I was hearing? Oh it’s the inner critic voice. It could originate from your childhood if you mother always shouted at you that you were only a failure. The voice of your mother become your critic inner voice and is there to make your life misery.
You inner critic tells you:
- You’re a failure.
- You’re wrong, yes always.
- Everyone is better than you.
- You’re ugly.
- You don’t deserve to love and be loved.
- You are here to please others.
- Your feelings are your weakness.
- You’re stupid.
- And list goes on and on.
When you hear so much of negative things about yourself you are kind a pushed to the edge and going down.
Hold on a moment. You been doing well. People like you. Your partner loves you. Your family loves you. So is it really true what your negative inner voice tells you. No, ofcourse not. Your inner critic is the power of a point of view you adapted from early life experiences.
How to deal with the inner critic.
1. Challenge your inner critic voice.
If you hear the voice telling you: you’re different from everyone else, challenge your inner critic. How am I different? Yes I might not be quite like them but does that mean I am bad. The answer is no. The truth is everyone is different. You see the inner critic is not the reflection of reality.
2. Your inner critic is your shadow side.
Whenever you hear it is like a critical thoughts. “You never do anything right”. The shadow side of yourself. Again how true is that. To help get the truth you might write them thoughts not as “I” but as “you”. So instead of writing I never get anything right, should be written: you never get anything right. This will help you to clear them as thoughts that not represent the true statements.
3. Face the inner critic with true facts of life.
In the moment you hear the critical inner voice face it with the true facts. If the voice says: You’re fat, see them close dont feet you anymore. That is not the truth. Be compassionate with yourself. I only have put on a bit weight lately. I need to get more involved with physical activities.
4. When your inner critic gets louder still don’t react on it.
At times we try to ignore the inner critic voice. But the more we try to ignore it the more persistent it become, the louder it shouts. Dont react on your inner critical voice. Just because it’s shouting, you know it’s far from the reality. You know what you need to do, what you want to achive. Take action when it want to stop you.
5. Know yourself, the stronger you grow the weaker your inner critic gets.
If the voice is telling you not to take that step it’s trying to stop you with the face of fear. You know yourself. You come a long way. You know you can do it. Your inner critic can’t stop you. In fact the more action you take the stronger you get and weaker your inner critical voice become.