Criticsim can be a hurtful feeling. It puts you down, let you feel upset, angry and miserable.
There is two types of criticism: contstructive criticism and destructive criticism.
First can be deliverd by a teacher, your boss or even a close friend and it’s based on some true facts. It has a good intention and requires your improvement. It still hurts.
The destructive criticism can come from someone who pretend to be an expert. It hurts even more.
How to deal with criticism? Here are some tips that will help you handle criticism:
1. Know where it’s construcive or destrucive criticism.
This is the first step to manage criticism. Where the criticism is coming from? Do you know the person? Constructive criticism ideally is meant to help you. Analyze the message and the person. If delivered by a superior it can only intend to make you perform better.
You know destructive criticism is not based on any facts and only mean to cause hurt and pain. If that is the case, take no notice and do not try to fight back.
2. No-one is perfect.
It’s ok to make mistakes. You not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. If the feedback you get is suggesting that things can ipmrove in another way. Think. It could be true. So just admit we all do things wrong sometimes. If the criticism is construcive we need to take it on board. The truths we’re all human, and we make endless mistakes. That makes us human.
3. It’s not personal, dont take it personally.
We tend to get upset, we tend to take it personally.
Let’s take some examples.
If your teacher tells you that you not been as producive this week as you always are, then she/he is not saying you’re ugly or fat. They only pointing out a fact that is meant to help you improve and get better results.
If your boss is telling you not to use the mobile when you working, they not being offenssive. They want you to be more producive, perform better and accomplish their goals.
Or if your mate says you need to listen sometimes, she/he is not saying your not a good friend they only want you to listen sometimes and tell them you care about them too.
So don’t take it personally. The criticism is only a guide how to improve and be a better person.
4. Control your emotions.
Criticism is a negative emotion and puts you down. It’s not intentionally so, most the time.
Think, and be a bit less sensitive. You don’t need to be defensive either. Keep controll of your emotions. Look at the ways to improve and grow.
5. Perceive the message, and find the truth.
To better deal with criticism we need to understand the message behind it. Take a moment and think. If the message is coming from someone who has best interest in mind then it’s very likely there is some truth. Don’t focus on hurt. Instead concentrate on how to improve..
6. Thank the person, who gave a truthful feedback.
If someone gave you some truthful, honest feedback in a kind way, don’t hesitate to take time and thank them in a sincere way. Tell them you appreciate it because you’ll work and be a better parent, or person or profesional. It shows maturity and personality.
7. Make no excuses, make progress.
You know what you need to work on. It will maybe take time but it’s never late to start. Remember making mistakes makes us human as long as always we learn a lesson on how to improve to be a better teacher, soldier, cleaner or a better human. That will improve the quality of humanity.
8. It’s not about what you say, it’s about how you say it.
There is two ways of delivering criticism.
One of the best it’s being nice, kind and telling the other peson the truth in clear but caring way. Try to decrease the hurt.
Other ways is being a pig head and shouting it out. Not giving a monkey about other persons feelings.
It’s all about how you say it. It makes a huge difference. The choice is yours.
Photo credit PIXABAY