We have our opinions about things, about people, about the whole world. Sometimes people try to talk to us about their view in life. They try to prove a point. In that case you should listen. Yes is a skill to listen to other people, that helps you improve your communication skills. By being a good listener you can have a deeper understanding about situations and about people. You also can see the world through other people’s views. Listening to what someone has to say become a challenge when you having an argument. Then if you have the ability to listen when that situation occur you have good listening skills. But for many it takes a lot of effort and sincere practising to be good listener. Here are some tips how to learn to listen.
1. Acknowledge the person your talking to.
Most the time people rush to most easiest answer, not even paying any attention who the are talking to. Take time and aknowledge the person that is trying to speak to you.
2. Show empathy.
We have two ears to listen and just one mouth to talk. So we must listen more than we talk. When listening try not judge other person, just listen with an open mind. Also try to listen from their prespective and think what would you do if you were in their shoes. By listening with a full attention you will have a clear view about the situation and about the person. Also it helps you to get to know them people better.
When you’re listening to someone don’t try to come up with a magic solution, just listen thoughtfuly, make eye contact, and focus all in what they have to say. Do not give your opinion until you really get deep understanding of situation.
3. Don’t compare your situation with their situation.
Even if thought you had an experience just like the one they are talking about, try to avoid comparing the situations. Maybe there were similarities but it wont help them by saying: that exactly what I went through. Also when someone is talking about their experience avoid talking about yourself. Just focus on them. Sometimes they don’t want you to say anything, just listen. On different case maybe require your opinion and help.
4. Think deeply before you answer.
Sometimes people speak to you about a death or about a divorce. They feel lost. Before you say anything think deep and say what you sincerely think. If they asking for help, take time to think how you can help them and dont rush to help them straight way.
5. Absorb the information.
When someone is talking to you try to live in their world. Nodding or saying “yeah” sometimes shows you are focused on them. Over all absorb all the information, every little detail of the story.
Then try to help or give them your honest opinion. Or comfort them and show sympathy. But always be careful, don’t give them the impression that, you stand higher than them.
Sometimes to be good listener you have to follow up. If they worried about some health problems you may ring them after a day or a week and ask them if they have any news yet. It will tell them that you listened and cared.
When you listening to someone note:
- Don’t try to change subject.
- Don’t interrupt when they trying to make a point.
- Ask nicely, don’t interrogate.
- Don’t come-up with a quick fix.
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