I shouldn’t maybe tell this story today because been feeling really low. But I wanted it to be out of my heart, out of my chest. So here goes:
I come to realize sometimes we can be so selfish without even notice it. It was a text message that my wife send to me about 3 years ago. It made me think deeply about it. We had separated and I was seeing my kids every saturday for few hours. That saturday I texted her saying I had a cold, so wasn’t going to pick kids up but I said to her maybe tomorrow. Then Sunday she asked me if I was going to pick them up. I texted her back saying, no I still got that cold. After few minutes I received this text from her: “That’s ok. I am coughing up blood and hardly breathing but you just make sure you are ok.” Was that moment when I realized how selfish I was being. I went and pick kids up that Sunday. I was really worried when I saw her she looked very pale. Almost white.
Please just let me point out the state of our relationship at that time. As i said, we were living apart. By then I was not in love with her anymore. But still when I saw her that sunday I was very worried. That was the last time I saw her alive.
I never will forget that phone call that I received that Thursday night nearly 3 years ago. It was just after 8pm. The phone rang and I answered. A lady’s voice said: can I speak to Seb. Speaking, I said. You need to come and pick you kids up, your wife passed away, she said. I remember I managed to say what? I felt numb. I felt cold. I felt empty. I rung my boss and I said I need to go. They were quick to send someone and I left.
There is sometimes in your life when you think people are here forever. People you love. When they go you just realize, they gone, they gone forever. You don’t give them the attention and love they deserve. You don’t appreciate them. You let them go.
Anyway I come to terms I lost her. Then I started looking on what had happen. I asked what happened after that sunday I saw her.
I found out she went to see her doctor on Tuesday and her doctor prescribed her some antibiotics for her chest infection and referred her to hospital. Which she went on Wednesday. I strongly believe she went there with hope they will do something and make her feel better. But they failed her. I strongly believe so. She was 43 years old. The only thing they did at hospital was a chest scan. And they send her home. The day after she was found dead at home.
Would she been admitted to hospital that day I very strongly believe she would be well and enjoying life with her kids that she loved so dearly. But it wasn’t meant to be. I waited for coroner’s verdict. Natural causes, he said. And you take what you were given even you know that is far from the truth.
Anyway I begin to do what I had to. I found a lawyer and spoke to them and explained what had happened. They promised to do their best. I had to wait less than couple of months. The lawyer said he can not prove it. I spoke to another lawyer. Explained to him. He got back to me in less than week. We can’t do anything he said. Sorry. You might are right but it’s hard to prove it with such big organizations. That was it. I gave up. Didn’t know what else to do.
In my heart there is a empty place. It will be empty forever. I just wish we all could appreciate people we love a bit more than we do. That is it.
Oh one more thing please if you don’t read the story dont just click “like” as some of you do. This is a personal story and I wanted to tell it to the world. But if you don’t have few minutes to read it it still ok enjoy your day. And if you manage to read it feel free to comment.